Saturday, 5 January 2013

For the love of smoking.

"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure.
It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied.
What more could one want?"
- Oscar Wilde

(Source unknown)

I promised my little brother I'd give up smoking before I turned 21.
The original promise was 25, but the little bastard wore me down and I agreed to 21. And he has a video of me promising this, so there's no way he's gonna forget about it.
So I'm trying to quit. And it's not the first time.

When I stop, I have a hard time correcting behavioural stuff like smoking when I get in the car or with the first cup of tea in the morning. And I don't get any cravings but as the nicotine works its way out of my system I get really irritable.

(Source also unknown. If only I looked this glamorous while smoking myself into an early grave)

I first started smoking 5 years ago. To impress a girl.
At the time she was the girl.
The first person I ever fell in love with.

She was the new girl in school. when I met her she wore her hair in two braids, with a sweeping fringe that fell right over one eye. She wore thick black eyeliner and wore a black army-style jacket to school.
She had hazel eyes and a slight Roman nose. She had a raspy voice and an infectious laugh.
She was everything dorky, plain, 15-year-old me wanted to be.

Here I am at 15...

She and another school friend came over to my house after school one day, and we ended up standing out in my back garden, freezing our tits off, while my girl puffed away on a cigarette.
And she offered it to me. And did I say "Oh no thank you, I don't smoke." ?
Did I bollocks.
And I've been a smoker ever since.

Here I am 5 years later, looking absolutely vile, piss-drunk at a New Years' party.

Ever since those school days where I'd smoke during my lunch break, blowing the smoke down the front of my school jumper to avoid the attention of patrolling teachers, spraying myself with cheap body spray to cover the smell (God that was a horrendous idea...) I've rarely been seen without a fag in my hand.

But it's time for that to end! I must keep my promise!
My brother will never let me forget it if I don't!

Also, about the night I smoked my first cigarette with the girl I loved...
My Mom confessed years later that she always thought us three girls were up to something 'sexual'.
I should be so fuckin' lucky!
The girl never found out how I felt about her.

2 comments:

  1. Hmm yes that girl :P One question, was I the other friend that night? I can remember being at yours once and your mum thought us three were up too something lol :P x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I, too, shall persist in verbally berating you until you cease with your overextended chimney impersonation.

    Do take heed.

    ReplyDelete